Where did i go Wrong?

as the days go by months fade from memory, one would start to think of all the misery, that one has been through since their timely arrival to this earth, was it all joke from the start? a malicious birth? our lives are planned, so they say but life is better unexpected, its funner that way. I'm nowhere near the best hell not even close so dont compare me to the greats like Van Gogh or Picasso.

i've let down so many people you would think its routine i dont think before i speak they say im so mean. should i just enter the dark realm where only monsters go? crawl in a hole with the synical lows? or should i stand stall in my own faith knowing im only human? but when ur own flesh n blood hacks away at you its hard to keep goin.

but i belive that its my own wrong doings thats keep me down so when i finally get a grip i'll see you around town. I may look shabby, i might look shique, but then i'll know who im truley meant to be.

alone to face this world, to face my true problems at hand. Because i've learned to keep it in never expose it to any man. Keep it to yourself because no one else will understand, i let her down once, i let her down twice, im sure to let her down again.

keep the pendulum swingin

only to work in my favor, well maybe another so both parties r better.

a new perspective leaves an extension of ideas, so choose your words carfully so no one can see us, argue in the street over why we couldnt meet, dont tell me you weren't free tell me this little thing call honesty.

a bit bitter yes, a bit done no. becasue my heart isnt ready to say 'its time to go."

but ill give it one more round n give it my all because i wont leave this room till one of us takes a fall. it may sound harsh but thats the only way to keep the pendulum swingin. maybe one day we can say "lets call it even."

but for now im not in that mind frame. i'm all about gettin mine so that i can stay sane.

you get what you can when ur able to get it but u had me then and to have me again i may regret it.

a tiny piece wil remain lets not deny that fact but it wont be enough to get me back in the sack.

if i fall off my promise with tales u'll be singin

i'll know for sure its the only way to keep the pendulum swingin

City Streets Forever Imprinted by the Paws of a Bitch..

a few strolls down boulevard lane can leave you wondering whose the one playin tricks.

Dimes come a dozen so collect that change to catch the train but don't be too late because you can't switch from dicks to a kiss. These lips can't be touched too sacred like the tomb of Nefertiti.

my treasures been discovered and marketed for the highest bidder but this only seems to get my spirits to the lowest giver because to give me "one night in paradise" in the back of a Hyundai cant be what the princess means by the one great high, when ur prince sweeps you off your feet to live in the sky among the royals but i get smacked down to earth to get my place planted in soil.

slept on the street last night cuz my gaurdian said i didnt make enough for shelter, feelin like a lost puppy diggin outta trash cans n man! this shit aint for me! but imma make this money honey cuz aint shit for free!.. thats what they keep tellin me.. so i open my mouth so the boss man can feed me...

feedin me lies of lust of what i do for him, to him, for him, love him?! no!... i've been to the scums of the earth but to trust you with my heart would be a new low,..... so mister.. i gotta go

let it die

images of your face haunt me so

time to pack up my things to go

where to from here guess its time to fly

why'd you go have to go and let it die

why'd you have to go and let it die

why'd you have to go and let it die

too late now left me wonderin why

why'd you have to go and let it die

pain soaked clothes red tired eyes

wring it out n just ignore the same old lies

moving on from us just doesnt feel so right

why'd you have to go and let it die

why'd you have to go and let it die

why'd you have to go and let it die

too late now left me wonderin why

why'd you have to go and let it die

do care how i feel?

you're so considerate

do care how i feel?

oh so considerate

too late now left me wonderin why

why'd you have to go and let it die

images of your face haunt me so

why'd you have to go and let it die

where to from here guess its time to fly

why'd you have to go and let it die

the song is "Let It Die" by the Foo Fighters; but i just put in my own lyrics. (theres also more to the song but i didn't feel like adding that)

cocktail on the roof anyone?..

a simple outfit that cost HONESTLY under 10 bucks

hat = $2

cardigan = $3

white button up = $2

skinny tie = a friends (now mine)

what did i do with the other 3 bucks? i treated myself to some ice cream

♥

thats all i want thats all i need..

We are the Superlative Conspiracy

indeed

:)

both sides of the spectrum

Where does my mind go when the heavens close left to pray alone? What am i suppose to say when im all choked up and your ok? Who do i turn to when the skies fade from blue? When can i breathe again to be able to count my second win?

hope is given to the deserved fallen, so i hop back up so no one sees me fallin.

another day, another chance, anther smile, another glance. Another opportunity to create our romance. One foot in leaves one foot out, but give me a second to figure things out. Because im better in one position instead of on the fence, but i protect my heart better when im on the defence.

i've got a defective heart till you come near me, walk away now and it'll freeze up quickly. One liners are the best when you want them temporarily but im a long term jotter, quick writer..barely

**************************************************

the'yve got time while i've got freedom

i'll be livin my life just waitin for the right one

but i wont sit still with doubts or confusion

i'll be livin my life w/ no tricks or illusions

my stories to tell can one day save a life

so i'll be livin my days even through dark cold nights

i wont lie and say my days wont get tough

but i'll be lvin my life knowin im still loved

sometimes i say the best part of me was always you

and

sometimes i feel that what we had was still so true

but

they've got time while i've got freedom

so i'll be livin my life till i find the right one

♥

who ever thought...

I find myself racking my brain over the thoughts that run through my mind of the images replayed of the last day I saw your face. I hate that we didn’t seal the night with a kiss because who knew that u’d be the only one I miss. Nothing has hit me as hard if I’m being honest with myself, I’m going insane no1 to blame so I must play the cards I’ve been dealt. But you had your dirt too so there lies my anger. I can’t think of talking, dancing, or conversing w/ another stranger. When a heart breaks, it doesn’t break even, but I never imagined you’d be the one leavin. I fell so hard without a plan of recovery so forgive me if I stumble to my feet from the pool of misery.

So many years alone I hope the one to come things would be different. Who knew that you would be the one I’d grow missin. I sound like a sap I feel like a loser, but who ever thought that I would loose her? I hurt so much I’m confused with emotions should I call? Should I write? Or just go with the motions? Because she told me it’s a new year so just go with the flow, but kissing you and holding you is all I know. So when you take that away I really don’t have much, but the memories of what was and thought of to clutch. We started off good so is there still hope? A crack of sunshine? Or should I continue to mope? I’m on a roller coaster of feelings just waiting to get off but if you’re the conductor then how can I get off? Till then I’ll leave it to my words to get me through but still..

who ever thought that I would loose you?