im not as strong as you think i am

never as tough as the one poised to be but as weak as the feelings free. Because you have to pay to be hard n shit. n Shit, its hard! I'm not made of the trees that easily replenish themselves as the wisp of a breeze. Dually noted it will replenish itself. While I, i sit on a shelf waiting for my do over, my make over to become better than i was the moment i walked away. Walked away from the day you said "its always something with you!", well excuse my ass for sleeping through fog pants soaked from the grass because all i wanted to do was make this happiness last. Stayed a bit past due but then again who said i wanted to see you? I'm not a happy person by nature but more of a fighter. I try my best to please you momentarily only to fuck up due my lack of enormity. i try my darnedest to greet you with news of joy but to my dismay criticism to my ears are your only form of pay.

but one day... just one day, like the leaf on the tree i'll be a blessing to spark one little person with shade and they'll joyously scream "you know what? you just made my day!" I don't doubt the love, i don't dare deny that, but what crushes the soul is the parachute from the heavens to the earth with aimed bullets disguised as love filled with hate.

like God's love i will prevail.
♥