what now...

self reflection has gotten me to a point where i fail to want to reflect anymore.
what else is there to see if all that is in front of me is unfinished and incomplete?
well thats whats been told to me.
i'd like to think that over the years i've grown in large parts.
possibly not large enough if those parts are larger than i thought.

i could think for hours till there's a rumble in my stomach.
forget it
i won't leave those spot till that thought has stopped.

major conflict ions restrict me from happiness.
major confusion prompts me to halt.
is it my fault?

well it takes 2 doesn't it?
but apparently its a different category of misery.
yours being the unfulfilled
mine being the 'catch-up ur moving to slow'
oh..
i pray that a day will never come where we stand face to face as merely friends.
but in the end what else is there to say but...
the end?

save me

i get inspired from the voices in the sky
could it be the voices walking by?
the ones who save the day to say hey or hi?
or simply just a mellow fellow disguised as another passer by?

i'll never know but i'll take it as they come.
im reminded everyday there's a blessing to be seen
luckly its a fluffy dream of a blissful feeling


its all about the feeling you get when waking out of bed
and your elated, ever so rested.
its the simple things that keep me beaming from the pavement to the ceiling
yeah.. the simple things that keep me
simply put, im kept in peaceful solitude.
peacefully.

random thoughts

ever since the beginning i've been in motion. yet feeling frozen i try to keep my composure.

you may not have noticed but im completely bare with my feelings.
its easy to see if you just let it be.

come. sit by me.
i don't bite.
maybe a nibble this soft subtle graze against you cheek.

i can be meek or bleak but if you speak up...
then i've struck gold.
i promise to hold you.
get to know you.
understand you.

complications of my heart leave me at the starting gate but fuck it its fate.
so let me wait.

the pulse will fall in line sooner or later and then i get to have her.
have you.

because i do. i do love you.
as any lady should who just gave her heart away.
like the other day i saw you take my breath away with the way you sung that meloday.

i could go on for days ya say.
its that slang..
its that dang girl.
you got me going in circles.

ok. i think im done. i could get wrapped up in my own thoughts and to no one elses fault but my own will i extend this apology. but before i leave, follow me. for eternity. i guarantee ecstasy. <--- super cheesy. but thats me.

if i may say.
just let it be.
let me.. be me

:)

random thoughts

ever since the beginning i've been in motion. yet feeling frozen i try to keep my composure.

you may not have noticed but im completely bare with my feelings.
its easy to see if you just let be.

come. sit by me.
i don't bite.
maybe a nibble this a soft subtle graze against you cheek.

i can be meek or bleak but if you speak up...
then i've struck gold.
i promise to hold you.
get to know you.
understand you.

complications of my heart leave me at the starting gate but fuck it its fate.
so let me wait.

the pulse will fall in line sooner or later and then i get to have her.
have you.

because i do. i do love you.
as any lady should who just gave her heart away.
like the other day i saw you take my breath away with the way you sung that meloday.

i could go on for days ya say.
its that slang..
its that dang girl.
you got me going in circles.

ok. i think im done. i could get wrapped up in my own thoughts and to no one elses fault but i own will i extend this apology. but before i leave, follow me. for eternity. i guarantee ecstasy. <--- super cheesy. but thats me.

if i may say.
just let it be.
let me.. be me

:)

with nothing

with nothing better to do
i think of nothing sweeter than you.

with nothing but assurance from the heavens
i think of ways to show i love you

since its only natural to share these kisses
i think of how i was made for you too

im counting the hours pacing the floors
just say once more that i love you

i do too believe that you were a gift from god
and a nod from the highest of highs i caress these thighs

because
with nothing better to do
i think of nothing sweeter than you

♥

never knew

i never knew id find myself missing you.
its a craving worth saving for a rainy day when we can stay.. inside and watch time drip by. Like the moisture we create when our bodies collide. its no surprise to my eyes when you look with amazement. i gaze upon your face and become frozen. im the one you chose.

i never knew id find myself loving you.
loving every essence of your being. and seeing your face light up to the smallest of moments and every dress your wear i swear you own it. your body is a temple and your voice is a sonnet. i thank god everyday just to say you're my woman.

more of a blessing really.
its easy to see that your smile is infectious
if so let me surround myself with your essence if its easily contagious.

i can say with ease that i love you.
i cant express enough how much i adore you.
an even balance of emotions brings me to the conclusion that i was made for you.

C&C
T.T
F.
♥

C.A.

let the feeling adjust on its own. its a path only known to the fallen. the ones who hurt. the ones who blurt from their souls and express their deepest concerns. they have a lot to learn but are willing to be taught. it was just a thought that seeped into my frame of mind. its the kind that leaves you pondering, wondering, whats to come around the bend.

and just then you emerged like the sun from the storm. only to carry me on to fulfill my destiny and from you to me Im blessed. yes i feel like this could the be the best yet.


*********

i stand in awe.
i sit and pause.
for a second i wonder how.
i think that my moment has arrived now.
so easily i hope for a refreshing love of my own.
not the kind filled with cheesy lines but the kind
that promises never to leave me alone.
i feel my heart smile,
i feel my soul pounce.
so its only fare that i love you with every ounce i have.
that laugh, so infectious.
lets just.. stay in for the day. let the sun beams graze your face and twinkle in the beauty that i love to see.
lets just say for eternity it's you and me.

**********

im more than lucky.
more than blessed.
i've been awaken and given the best.
im unaware at times how great i have it.
so lavish-ly you shower me with kisses and love and like the stars from above you guide me to my destiny

**********

who knows how far this will go but i pray it surpasses my expectations and fill those spaces with celebrations and exclamations of how we met n just then we can tell our grandkids n their kids n so this.. this is the start of memories and endless possibilities

♥

my angel

i've got an angel
she doesnt wear any wings
instead she showers me with love
and touch too soft to speak of

i've got an angel
she stays eye level to mine
i become confused at times
as to how this all fell in line

it's not like me to fall on a gold mine
so i'll take this angel and hold her close
if i slip up she'll just kiss me gently
sealing it with a nuzzle on the nose

so i tell ya i've got an angel
she doesn't wear any wings
she came to my rescue in due time
and expresses her devotion every song she sings

♥

when i fail to express myself in your most wanted way, ill submit a passage from my heart with dialog so sweet it'll sweep you away.

not too far away of course, just enough to long for more company. and honey my darling im falling hard. So if you can do me this favor and catch me with your sincerest regard, i'll gladly appreciate it and extend a kiss of gratitude.

It's that pouty attitude you exude when you think im being rude.
I love it so because it gives me a chance to let you know that i... loke you.

someone said that "true love finds you in the end"

well ive patiently waited my turn but yet i remain stubborn.
my apologies for this lapse in judgement, i want you to say you knew me back when i failed to recognize the greatness that was in store and this loneliness can become such a bore. so rescue me please.

tell me im the one and that our lives have just begun.
wait for it to sink in and then.. only then can i say that you win.
when i let down my guard and stop acting all hard.. yeah you know this softy.
so softly you whisper to me and you've fallen for me.

i pray this feeling never escapes this body

♥

open up

i had a talk today.. it went a little like this


+ i want it all.. all from you
- im a tad nervous as to what to do
+ well just open up and let the rest flow
- eh.. im not sure suggest this again tomorrow
+ time is of the essence so why wait?
- well, im scared of what i might say today
+ what might you express my dear?
- that i want you forever and always near
+ was that all babe? aww you're so cute
- yeah.. i know its silly what else was i to do?
+ open up and let the rest follow
- i think thats doable.. maybe make it the usual
+ i could get use to you
- yeah.. me too

♥

c&c

my heart is beating as i look up... im seeing your feet approach me slowly and only the lords knows the real me... but soon you shall too.

its a rarity, a gift given to few, and who knew that it would be you?

i'd be a liar to express no fears of whats to come but my love for you will never go undone. this journey has yet to begun. its so much fun to rhyme lines and paint the scenery of how things will be. and with the stroke of a pen i commence the image in my head of us laying in bed...sound bites never sounded so clear as you whisper to me 'i love you my dear.'

dont freak out of said exclamations
i know these proclamations will reveal themselves with great expectations..

what i know this moment forward is that you and i will embark on something worth noting.

♥

The kings of limbs the conquerer of all anatomy. I seek to understand the complex working of only 10% of the brain we barely comprehend. Its a task denied by many, picked up by few completed by one. me. hopefully.

ya see, I'm a composed human being with the inner workings of a genius in the making. It's a painstaking task at hand and it dawns on me at every chance to remind me of yet another battle left to climb. Slowly but surely the early bird gets the worm. such a cliche never rung true. literally. time is of the essence and you've got some nerve coming in at such a time as this.

Off the major frame of thought, my sincere apologies for the infraction on your conscious. I never meant any harm with the extension of my heart. I just figured a simple hello or hi wouldn't suffice. She said to me "take my advice, try again." a laugh then a dash for cover. whats next old feller?

ah nothing much. just a trace of old memories to spark this brain to uncover majestic sceneries id rather much be than here. right now. in this moment.

just a thought..

see it's only as far as you allow it to be.
i can only imagine the torment in your mind when my body starts to flee.
from the bed i left you in, so comfortably you layed there. sihouette, skin so bare that i couldn't help but ask if i may share, partake in a nibble. Its sensual so unusual. so the the conclusion should be you and me.

off to work to my 9-5 & the drive to my surprise i envisioned you layed there on your side. waiting for me to arrive, barring gifts and kisses and your the only misses i need.

indeed the task itself is just as troubling as the hike up hill but if you will so kindly bare with me and join me on this journey, then we can make light of the situation and in due time feel that bubbly sensation. the same kind described in the sonnet you placed on my pillow case.


every second i wait to gaze upon your face i store those ticks against the clock in a sack. and just like that when we emerge together i release those ticks in the form of a boastful kiss.

:]

i just

sit and wonder for a second
is it a blessin or a curse
which hand to pick
stuck in a rut
of past thoughts n mis-trust.

i play my hand at the game
to see what i land on
a land-mine for wired dimes spilling secrets from the pores of open sores. i guess i was a bore. fixated you were, this whole process was a blur.

such a silly game i play when my heart is on the line.
i contemplate the ways to make you all mine.

but if in all honestly you'd rather be without me then go ahead and leave me. i lack the time and the patience to be stuck around babysittin, cryin n wishin that it was I you were missin.

ill take it day by day.
as only my mom would say.
shit its the only way.
will i give up this way?
i fail to know if i do or dont
but a mental break is what i need to feel ok today.

freestyle

gon head girl doubt my ability but lyrically i physically assault you verbally.
i don't take too kindly to insults. never mind my hand as it floats across ya throat.
its about time i release this beast from its cage, i take ya face worser than nick cage
its a nickname i gave him
kinda like ya mom, shes dedicated to this always on time
i receive salutes religiously
but mentally its just not the right pick for me

i thought we had it all till we dropped the ball
no need for name calls who am i to tell who was the first to fall?
im a sucker for a lover
just another rope to climb on while you get ya play on.

dream on sore loser
how you know she was gon pick her?
well man its kinda like this
when you play ya last and settle for a trick
they up n leave ya for diamond in the sky
while traveling in that mile high club.
the dumbest shit ever when you fallen in love
tell her whats up, that u gave in to give up
to lay on her chest
while listenin to dub-step.

but check it, im not done yet.
not the greatest but the illest.
id rather be sick so you pick me
nurse this beast i think im feelin sickly.
a cough and pant a soft rage and rant about how i cant get my act together.
how was i suppose to know i was best for her.
open up ya mind and ya heart will soon follow
such a long process like the sleepy hollow.
i got time to waste if you take the place next to me
its obviously the best thing for you and me. so see.
i peep game from the sideline players. they whisper the plan so i attack like Goliath
depending on the angle i look like an angel.
move too fast n now im ahead of my class.
scouts honor i wont bother her anymore



nothins too far when these beats n bars
are by far the strangest occurrence
since the emergence of the king
ding dong ya career is long gone.
stupid fool ya got it all wrong.
flash n cash n stack ur all wack.
lost momentum when the pendulum swung in the opposite direction.
listener discretion be advice i seamlessly mastered my creativity when the pen hit the pad.
and just like that i got you all mad.
yeah just like that got you all mad.

don't you love it when the underdog takes over and just does it?
you wasn't ya best when compared to the rest.
take nap while you get slapped around. or better yet
pull out ya android and follow the apps the sound the fake claps.
cuz you will never get appreciated.
so don't you ever affiliate yourself with the all highest.
all fliest better yet call me your majesty.
i can see my future mapped out like its suppose to be.
see, im on top. you barely made by ya skins.
dig in to my leftovers.
bums be drummin um n lovin um
so i just go n smother um with puns n runs.
then is done. layed to rest, lights out before the sun goes down
the realist shit will reveal itself.
i let the rest unfold
thats how my story will go.
listen to the king and rest will follow.




none the greatest testimente to a real life legend in the makin.
stop hatin, and get the congradulatin

this girl.

i get hints and winks from dames
and fast blinks tell me that
time is of the essence.

so when i find the one she'll be more than a blessin. i knew this girl whose last name escapes my brain. she was like this other girl who, well i fail to remember her place as well

but where i falter i make up for with attempts to meet my one at the alter.

i tell myself this time is different. oh crazy this lady with her tongue so amazing and shit if i keep this going who knows when she'll be one of the unforgettable.

her panties were... edible. too sweet for one taste so i came, and came, and came back for more.

little did i know that i would become the one who was forgettable.

we pass on the street only to meet as strangers do time and time again. did i win? oh no.

i knew this girl who said my last name escaped her brain.

yeah, the forgettable.

i can't

i can't help thinking what might be
i can't help the yearning for what could be
i can't help it this time so maybe thats just it
maybe it's the thought alone that settles me to forfite
i think i'll just rest in solitude till you get here
or maybe if i wait too long i'll miss something i might have here.

oh dear, im so confused because i wanted you so
i still feel for something so maybe i still do, ya know?
maybe if you leave or i go then time will reveal whats meant for us
i see something in your eyes, past the lip balm and sultry lust
i see our hands intertwinded at any chance given
i see our lips connected yes this is what i invision

i can't help but want you
i can't help but think of you
i can't help myself to enough of you
so if i can't wait for you
then i can't have you.
i don't deserve to.

sick.

such a novel scholar as i holler words on to the page. in hopes that they may awake one day to save a space for me in your heart.

that was just a start to see how far it could get me. you get me. like no one else does. you shrug it off like yesterdays news.

those simple clues should be a clue for me to forget about you. be that as it may. i still thought of you today.

strangely enough ive yet to have enough. you've had it up to here with tricks and whose turn is it to pick where we eat tonight?

not a date? ah great. just a friendly reminder of what i'll never have with her.
dinner by candle light seems too bright for her. it seems too much to handle. too much of a scandal to consume when rumors blossom and bloom of how we fell in love in june.

but yet i can see a lot of life in you. i can see a lot of bright in you.
enough to guide me down the darkness stricken path of loneliness.

its happiness you posses so obsessed i've become so i guess im done.
my time is near, this too shall pass my dear.

for i fear that i am not the only who will love you. my only plea is that you'll just in the same love me.

i huddle for safety to hide from the light.
so bright it flashes like thunder in the night.
i hurry for shelter, but your arms were better.
im lost in the fight of whats wrong or right.
i take the place of pain in all its sorrow
i wait for a better tomorrow.
the sound of your voice haunts these halls
i search for you but yet fall short again.
im left to wish again
wanting again to see you here.
where you left me dear.
in all my misery i still see the beauty in you and me.

false hope i own
the reason im alone.

i can't.

i've seen the look in your eyes.
a thousand times as i pass you by.
as it were every other day.
to my dismay this was the way
you captured my heart.
you captured my soul
only to hold it tight.
but with all my might
i try to let go.
because only the lord knows
that this old story goes:
there once stood a girl
who loved enough for the whole world
but was burned too many times
now fine are her lines.
so i've seen that look in your eye
as i passed you by
a thousand times
to save myself
the hurt and pain
i walk around alone and mundane.
i may fight again one day to regain the strength to win the battle
the fact of the matter is...this.
if i give in, and let you win. then letting up on the war will be my biggest sin.

I refuse.

i refuse to let little disguises as help that are true underlines of hurtful jabs come between me and my quest of self fulfillment of happiness and peace. Sweat the small stuff I will not. Taking each day one by one I have not forgot. I do the best I can with what I have been given. What you fail to know, what others are completely aware of.

So for your lack in understanding and analyzing, I ignore you. Simply put. Though instructions given I will follow, anymore than that, you will not get from me. I sense intimidation or fear. And that my friend is sad. Snarky remarks and or comments will have no affect on me so move on to the next one.

this is not meant to be a soft poem.
simply a statement of how i feel.
this can be universal.
for any boss, co-worker, or peer you come across.

tell yourself, enough is enough.

why?

why mope and grope
dance and prance
rejoice and sing
of the blessings this world brings
why sobe and grunt
may i be blunt?
life could be worse
you could lay in a hearse
so morbid it sounds
but how profound
that life for you
may be none for sue.
or tom or jim
but more than a whim
you live again.
so rejoice and be happy
not cranky or nasty
kiss your loved ones
even your annoying little cousins
send a message of love
thank the skies above
that you can live another day
trust me, its better this way.
♥

im gonna love you.

jumbled together like flocks of a ______. whether you know you the fill in, fill me in as to how we came about to this point. jumbled i am, in confusion i swam to see the truth beaming like a lighthouse. but doubts blocked my vision so here it is my mission. to love you, like no one has ever loved you. come rain or come shine. famous words once sung on that old record player that you broke a year later after my departure.

i expressed that you were gonna love me, like no one was ever gonna love me, come rain or come shine. but then again who am i to make such a claim when at the time, you never claimed to be mine.

and so it begins, the story unfolds to write itself that in due time i'll find someone to love me, like no one has ever loved me, come rain or come shine.

i'll find my missing piece since peace is the last thing i posses. it goes to show you that i put the most important things in check. last but not lease, i will never cease to, find the one. the only one. my one. rain or come shine. she will be mine.

in between

the unknown is a bit of a worry for me

i, create these problems for myself knowing that i'll never get the answer i was looking for.

in due time for sure, will i know whats meant to be. but for now i guess i have to go because theres nothing there for me.

************

i know its common,

to speak of beginnings yet to pass

but all i have are promises that projects them to last

i have all the time in your world,

if only theres a place to be

im only one human being whose destined to be free

free of the darkness that solitude binds me to.

i want so dearly to see you here with me

but i know that in due time you'll understand that its with me that you'll find peace.

not another line passed over the waves of gluttony, and mundane. but a decree as loud as my love that whats meant to be will be..

so i guess, there in that moment, i must sit back and count the days for your realization. but this steady contemplation of what decision you'll make has my heart on the edge bracing for a break.

im not the patient type, so don't believe the hype. but im the gracious type and i'll fight with all my might.

none of the above might take hold, but one thing is if for certain; these feelings never get old.

♥

blessing.

i live to learn that life lives on in each and every one of us.

tho the dust has yet to settle im still reminded of the moments we cherished.

tho small and few they packed a heavy memory big enough to last a lifetime.

you, are the reason, i thank God for breath in a refreshed way. its sad yes that something so tragic had to spark in me the love the lord has for me, but through it all i see that you, were a blessing. taken too soon? or right on time? either way i know that you're in heaven laughing and telling jokes, you got me into zeitgeist. heated discussions about politics and whose feet were bigger. yours of course. i wish i knew you better, but im just glad to have known you at all. you are loved and missed, but remain in the hearts of every young human being whose life you've touch.

and for that, you deserve to rest in peace.

♥

H.N.

the usual

i love ya its true

or maybe i just love that i love someone like you

im confused as to what to do.

i never thought that this would happen, huh, who knew.

i guess i always did. because i forced myself to.

in hopes that we'd be for each other in harmony too.

im so scared, just really scared and frightened of who i might love

not for face value or mere appearance but that they wont be you, yeah that sounds dumb

i'll get over it one day, yeah right... unless you say that.. im the one?

****************************

you would think id be tired of writing poems about you right?

well its funny to think, well, actually, i didn't think of you all night.

some would call it obsession with a slight dash of desperation

but i call it a dash of aspiration for grasping everything i find dashing

and to ad to my admiration of your beauty, to me, you look sexy with no make up on

so, go on. stay naked for the rest of the day. dont mask yourself with mascara. tell her, maybline or that other covergirl that if they so choose to cover themselves then so be it. but the way i see it, your beauty surpasses a million billboards and of course you look stunning today. as any other day would have it. night time too. those freakles, those lines, that smile, all mine... i wish.

i miss what ive yet to have if had the chance i say we dance all night. no grind against the time just sway to the sounds of our heartbeats and with these feet we move.

all of the above is what id whisper to your ear if, well, you were here.

but you're not. i forgot. once again because i lost touch with reality in thinking that, umm, ohh, i dont know you'd see me as more than a friend. but here i am, again. stuck in the seat left alone to face defeat because i keep chasing this dream.

whats wrong with me?

only time will tell but ah hell, for the time being let me just be.

in all my misery ill find a way to resurface and gain clarity.

**************************

i see ya...

i see ya lookin you see me starin i start to wonder then i start the swearin

cuz if you only knew what you do to me then you would come so, so easily

im just a human

with simple needs

and desires that

form my mind with ease

i play chess games

list past dames that failed to lift me higher, and you the one to blame

i question the magic,

that you posses whether its empty sprinkles

or a flat chest

either way im stayin

cuz you the one for me

thats another plan formed so easily

i see ya lookin you see me starin i start to wonder then i start the swearin

cuz if you only knew what you do to me then you would come so, so easily

i see ya lookin you see me starin i start to wonder then i start the swearin

cuz if you only knew what you do to me then you would come so, so easily

i know its scary

but listen baby,

i kno my plans are hazy

but you should be my lady

she got this walk that

i just cant explain

it sends chillls up my back

through my membrain

i cant escape this girl

she's been implanted

so i clean up my stance

try to hide the frantic-

ness that i need to confess when

when you come near

just listen here

i think its a about time

you realize

that im not a simple girl

with no hopes or desires

i plan to get lifted

with room for an extra

so if you're ever so kind

we should weatha the weatha

step back for a second

and take it all in

can't you invision is this mess we're in?

were you're not here with me

for eternity

and its only cuz

you say its not meant to be

i see ya lookin you see me starin i start to wonder then i start the swearin

cuz if you only knew what you do to me then you would come so, so easily

i see ya lookin you see me starin i start to wonder then i start the swearin

cuz if you only knew what you do to me then you would come so, so easily

lets change your thinking

understand my philosphy

cuz if you only knew what you do to me

then it would come so easily

then it would come so, so easily

check it, i got a new plan

so peep this blueprint

i got this ring that

you hand could fit

its not the world

just a little something

call it a practice ring

till we get it bumpin

cuz when the times comes to flaunt your jewel

the whole world will know that its you that rules

the entire stratosphere

but if ya not here

theres nothing more i fear

cuz i was made for you

and you for me my dear

i think its a about time

you realize

im not a simple girl, that lets time fly bye

i see ya lookin you see me starin i start to wonder then i start the swearin

cuz if you only knew what you do to me then you would come so, so easily

i see ya lookin you see me starin i start to wonder then i start the swearin

cuz if you only knew what you do to me then you would come so, so easily

i just wanna be happy

- snap out that mushy shit.

i like to be this way for the hell of it

- but moments like that are holdin u back man

i can't, i can't help it

- snap out of the zombie like state

well shit, thats easy for you to say

- well hey, im not the one crying today

im breaking inside and its all my fault

- no not entirely, you're just lost in thought

so what am i suppose to do?

- stop talking to yourself and just move

so should i expect no response after this statement here?

70

im at a lost for words and a lost for feelings because this very moment you're the reason why, why i just cant hold it together. i see you with, her, and her, and her over there. and i think to myself this is less than fair.

what do i lack that forces your eyes to glance over mine?

what dont i posses that forces your hand not into mine?

what do i have to do to change this picture and make you mine?

i guess maybe it's meant to be, in another light.

what hurts the most is that you'll never know.

even upon reading this note it'll never show.

because it passes over your head so effortlessly

so its obvious im one that hurts. Not you, but me

i hate how i feel

how i know its not real

cuz if the feelings were reciprocated

then we could seal the deal

the rhyming was easy but seeing you with her isnt

i go to bed every night dreamin of what im missin

so if i dare sneak a kiss in and act a tad belligerent,

then pull me aside and beg me to act different.

because the tug and tull felt so good

i ask for more knowing i should(nt)

but if its heaven sent then id know, right?

alls well that ends well so this time i'll try with all my might

this might not be my last hint to you

but if you stare a second too long at me,

i'll at least think you knew

maybe

maybe in time well see

that whats meant to be will be

que sera sera as it may

thats what it seems to me

a game of time and i've just about lost

to which hand must i deal and to what cost

should i fold and sit out or bluff and risk

maybe throw up my hands n walk away in total shock

yeah, maybe that'll be the day

yeah, maybe that'll be the way

to end this cycle of pain

yeah, maybe that'll be the way.

when its all said and done, when care is of no matter

i'll probably shout from mountain tops "shit will never get better!"

but i know my soul. i cant give up like that.

but when you walk away empty handed time after time what else do you get?

im just about at the end of my ropes with all of this

maybe i'll just forget it never happened yeah, cuz ignorance is bliss

i'll fell better again and can move on

but then you'll appear again

then i'll give in

but hopefully i pass you up.

and say thats enough because maybe, just maybe....

yeah, maybe that'll be the day

yeah, maybe that'll be the way

to end this cycle of pain

yeah, maybe that'll be the way.

its a mystery where this road will take me

so for now i pray the lord wont forsake thee

but such a silly fool i am to think that maybe

maybe this girl could be my one and only

yeah, maybe

just maybe

strange not yet beautiful

its been a while since ive seen your face

never have i forgotten such a place

where id place my lips upon those of yours

its beginning to become an eye sore of sorts

im not sure if its the distance within the stars

or the lack of substance when we know who we are.

as one separate being we seem to be keen.

but together as one is something ive yet to believe

i gave little so little i get in return

dont worry i'll be fine

in time these surface wounds fade

into another night & day

revelations have never been so apparent as this moment this second

when i stare into your eyes and come up missin.

every spark and gleam of what i thought would be

the desire in your face is absent but yet, thats ok w/ me.

i gave little so little i get in return

dont worry i'll be fine

in time these surface wounds fade

into another night & day

just say how you feel

just say how feel. never hurt anybody, right?

minus the barer of bad news if all fails to take flight.

seeing as im the exposer of the most vulnerable components i posses

i suggest you let me handle myself accordingly if i fail to, address all the tingling thoughts that have fluttered into my mind, because i, have run out of time to say that line that goes "well, i mean, i dont know. its just how i feel. im able to accept things that seem far too real and believe me i was far too off to even think of the thought of being with you.

*************************************************

i give in. i can only put up the tough act for so long and the second you say you're ready, then im on, on and up for anything again. i live for the second you accept me as your one and only and i cant say i sleep lonley like cuz just the other night i dreamnt of you and i taking flight. i lived in the leaps and bounds n found that in this dream, the only thing you thought of was me. im a desperate fool to count the second in which the day passes till i relive my fairytale of life when the night lights bright up the sky and my comfortable songs and lullabies are the only true things to seize time as i lay idle by the wayside and wait. for you. to appear. there. over there in the field of dreams and i have these scenes that reemerge on a daily, more like nightly, and its kinda frightening how i depend on these dreams. its clockwork of the unwanted kind i imagine. it has been ever since way back when, when, i fail to even recall the moment you said we never had anything at all. was it my fault? did i say something? didnt i say something? my only option is running for that something that, we never had at all.

so i guess it is my fault. i extend my deepest apologies and send these tears to your front door and will there be more? possibly. because honestly, its hard for me to believe that there was a hint of sincerity when you said you didnt wanna hurt me. so if all i have all these dreams, these scene that reemerge on a daily , more like nightly, and yeah, it is kinda frightening but that just might be the thing that gets me to say silly silly me. it is not I who lives with pain of giving in, it is you who lives with the misery of what could have been.

if i stayed over..

let me tell you, im not the kind to stand in line

so check the equation for a lapse in time

if i stayed over, then its on for good

yeah, cuz when im gone im gone for good.

we had this chance to commence in a dance

so why waste the moment with lack of plans

just let me stay over, then its on for good.

cuz when im gone, im gone for good.

if i can transform this moment only to make it last

i can breath in the future and breath out the past

so if i stayed over, then its on for good.

cuz when im gone, im gone for good.

try not to cry when the dust settles beneath my feet

just arise from your knees and accept defeat

if i had stayed over, it would have been on for good

but you let me leave like i knew you would.

pack up the pain and seal it with hurt

sooner or later this will be a lesson learnt

but im gone now, gone for good

so carry on your way like i know you should.

naked as we came

naked as we came
clothed as we go
will you leave me tonight?
my heart wants to know
so warm the start so cold the end
so pleasant the pleasure too absent to mend
so i drift away like a leaf in a pond
hoping you'll return
since been too long
say yes to the thought of possibilities
if this is really gonna be
then it should start with me
i've yearned for centuries
that you would be more than a silhouette
i hope for too much but yet..
i still dream to see you again
naked as we came
clothed as we go
will you leave me tonight?
please say no.

just i.

i say things spur of the moment to muzzle the true thought im tempted to reveal.

if i could heal these cracks of confusion then i could calmly explain why your more than just an ideation. i picture much more for you and i but the problem lies in the reciprocation of these feelings. i feel that there may be a break in communication and this has my heart bracing for the arrival of hitting the pavement.

i swear im not a dreamer just a future schemer. i'd like to think of myself as ahead of the game in laymans terms. moments come and go but this love of mine will be around till the end of the road so hop on board if you're ready for the ride because soon we can be lovers as cheesy as this sounds side by side.

im a dork. yes this is true.

instead of roses i burn a cd for you.

im silly. yes

i jumble my words in attempts to say i like you

im all yours. when the time is near

if you give me the chance and breakdown the fear.

they said her beauty was incomparable & i thought her presence was insurmontable.

they said she'd go far with those looks & i fancied her love of knowledge & books

they say gals fancy the elite type and i myself just aint right so maybe i should just take flight and try it again with all my might another season because she might not belive in.. everything i have for the givin. but. shut up.

they told me i had no shot and then i just thought, was your chance blew to the wind? so here in lies the defeat in your eyes to mask the hope and lust for hate and trust me when i tell you that im not the one to let go and fall for a bust.

i'll awake a winner, true still a sinner, but to the eyes of perfectionists whose eyes may appear off kilter i go the sane and maintain my victory and only the lonely die slowly.

I myself will speed past the naysayers and arise on top of the crop with my girl in toe and bestow upon you fools the rules of the land because here stands her queen and herself the man.

what else

as i awaken these thoughts in mind that have bee asleep for some time, i, come to the conclusion that all this pitter patter across the floor for some eye sore of a feelin is maybe all an illusion. no need to scamper across the pavement for ways of savin face just embrace the moment you embarked and when the moment has dawned on you.. you'll know.

that all this struggling with yourself can only get you so far..off the path thats meant to be marked with you name as the winning flag and then at last you can do that dance you waited on for so long, i saw your face. the happiness you misplaced along with the grace just to save face was all it took for you end up in last place.

you see im just nothing but shortcomings and sometimes im something partially long lasting but the last thing i remember is her, voice. telling me i had a choice either to give in and give my all or stand stubborn and wait for the fall. i knew i could have it all but.. maybe its those shortcomings and odd sayings that have me praying to this all knowing image n this just in.

im done.

wake up.

we walk past the half dead only to tread hate throught the water of dead fathers that spread sin. we live by the dollar only to hollar out hate and discrimination is the basis for this broken nation. lift each other up and come from another for we all are apart of another brother.

what comes from above is the spirit that bleeds through these cracked walls and sticks to the floors for us to walk upon. soak up the blessings and spew it out no doubt we have the power in the final hour to overcome much more than an eye soar but if you see this fight as a bore than theres nothing left for the man who cant take it anymore.

sell out your soul and leave it to be stomped out, hallowed out chocked out and spat out like last years news and don't go singing the blues when those who you thought loved you fail to bring the loot. becasue shoot...

its every man for himself but if we've learned anything from past civil wars we see that to have been dealt with left this blessed nation a mess its just not how things work. to leave one man alone on the plank to think is selfish. become selfless and do less for yourself and help ya fellow man.

im one alone but together we are strong. together we can overcome. she can sing chants all day long but not a single song should be sung till the war is won. work is meant to be done to make sure every mouth is feed no souls left dead and so lets tread through the muddy waters and awaken the four fathers and spit truth of the comings and happening of things we've seen. enlighten them on mistakes made but progress being paid.