stop..

stop expecting things from the hands of others.

once you learn this pattern your bound to move on to another.

Another better path with high hopes and strong confidence

a place were your praised & thanked, instead of mocked & dissed.

It'll take a while, for that i won't lie.

But the journey is worth it to be on cloud 9.

cloud 1, 2, 3, & 4 too!

whatever number means the most to you.

like the old saying goes, "go where you're appreciated not tolerated"

I've been on both extremes of that bit more than cared for, & not so much hated.

with bigger problems in my life that could span the globe,

why sweat the small stuff for all you know?

because the smallest things mean so much to me

i feed off of good vibes and even smaller victories.

like a great day with friends, or simple night in

the joy of resting my head at night knowing that today was a win.

a favor in my court to wear a smile on my face

instead of staking up the tension from embarrassment & disgrace.

a moment of peace in a world of chaos

as appose to a moment of grief & feeling of being lost.

i have things to be happy about, that much is true

but how would you feel if you constantly felt alone n like last years news?

im dramatic of course i won't deny that

but i have so much hurt that i can't hide that.

i stretch my heart to limits that aren't unhealthy

for the sake of keeping friends around to benefit me safely

i hate my "home"

i hate my "surroundings"

i hate my life right now

no matter how its sounding, i just hate everything everything right now.

why even try rationalizing.

one more sarcastic remark to test my patience is too much to take when at a moments break i find myself on the verge of breaking your neck n heck i just cant take it anymore. I try to prevent these past occurrence from being an eye sore, but these past festivities have become such a bore. Or, maybe it's more.

Maybe it's the company i've been kept, felt this irritation for so long that it's something worth noting. Show me who you really are without the glimmer and glam of a crackling star.

I'm over the bickering, and taunting of strangers who fail to keep your interest and fall into the pits of the things you think are "the shit." One day, a shot too soon, will my feelings ring true and i'll unleash this beast and map out the lies and trickery you all have poured unto me, but pitty me not. Consider it a selfish considerate deal. For i'll tell you how i feel, it'll be real, and then, from there i part ways. because i don't care to continue my days in such ways that convey drama among people who mean a tad more than much to me.

I deserve the highest of highs and the best of best, no longer should i put up with the bullshit and be left with the rest n left on my own, all alone, but "hey its ok, don't trip! i gotchu." nah, ill pass but heres a big fuck you!

i may not ever express myself in the form of my liking but i pray to GOD i have the strength to overcome this urge of fighting with the right to settle for the wrong because i wanna believe it's were i belong. well not for long. I am too strong to hold myself back, i have too much potential to fall off track.