nothing left.

left her to think of my life and all its come too

the pain the misery the lust the lies dug through

i grab on and hold for dear life

so cliché to no ones dismay i pray for my wife

in hopes to hold her hand and walk side by side in all this luster

such shapes exist when dreams become reality with trust from one another.

i know it may take time like fine wine, but patience is no fun when all i wanna do is make you mine

lust after you and take you for my own, become lost in our thoughts & so whats left to condone?

leave that stone unturned and expose the truth, that what lies beneath are creeps & fools.

i spoil myself with images of compassion so soil yourself with images of passion.

randomly i evoke my feelings so you too may understand what i'm feeling.

i can be complicated and a bit overdone at times. so i extend apologies if you fail to feel fine.

see i do what i can when the time is right, not my fault that my clock was never right.

i fall two steps behind so I'm a too much to handle, lets ease into the evening with dinner by candle...light my fire and take me higher! i see everything like a clear dream and it's you that I've been waiting for like an unhealthy fiend.

numb i become left to fall on half of my being, understood I've yet to become, my thoughts and ideas go unseen. one song on repeat is all i need to conjure up every last inch of my creativity to all its longevity, till i pass out from the insanity, till i give in to the mortality....

that is me.

untitled.

naked as we came unaware was her name

she spoke to me in a dream to reveal her biggest pain.

under the tree we sat bare arms in all

her head to rest in my lap her sleepy eyes would fall.

forgetful her soul

of the stories untold.

but i dare not wake this sleeping beauty

rested so softly its my honor to hold her gently.

for this moment in time i feel peace as last

caress her face, soft kiss on the cheek such acts shall never pass.

we looked up into the sky so hopeful of ourselves

intertwined we became in emotions we fell.

forgetful her soul

of the stories untold.

but i dare not wake this sleeping beauty

rested so softly its my honor to hold her gently.

the night fell upon us with chills too soon to follow

i wrap myself around hers in anticipation of tomorrow.

i know nothing of the thoughts that flood her mind

but one this is for certain, tonight she is mine.

forgetful her soul

of the stories untold

but i dare not wake this sleeping beauty

rested so softly its my honor to hold her gently.

i was afraid this night would soon come to an end

i expressed my deepest regrets if my heart failed to mend

i hoped for reassurance from this lively vessel so i could breath again

little to my surprise was her lack of response and so i prayed for another day another night another chance to begin again

forgetful her soul

of stories untold

but i dare not wake this sleeping beauty

rested so softly its my honor to hold her gently.

it's my honor to hold her so gently.

tonight

like any other night, i walk the halls of my mundane imagination, left to pick up the trashed ideas and mold them into a vessel used to ship off to a land of boisterous lust, i must get there.

when this day is over i am left to sit along those walls of mundane imagination and ponder the wasted efforts used to dagger the hearts of the careless & forgettable. Forget it. its over. but when its over it'll be so good because thats how it should... be.

i cant see anything beyond the horizon so capture this moment and seal the lid, never expose it to anyone who dares to doubt the beauty that you say matters.

stomp on the hearts of the dream killers, those are the ones who trample the path of the victorious and thus must be thrown into the dust. i care too much to be engulfed by their hate, unaware they are they fuel my fire to reach hire, fulfill my desire.

my dear sir for this i ask are you for hire?

my level of irritation

never siezes to amaze me how high it can reach in a matter of seconds.

all it take is an instant irritation of unnecessary frustration from an annoying crustacean to have my mind blow up in amazement of how irritating she can be.

i keep it all in due to rules of "respect" but whats the use when i explode one day and she's no more and soon left for dead? Ok so i exaggerate a tad, i'd never kill her. I sure would love to choke the shit out of her!

can i do that at least?

please? please?

give me a reason to cease... fire?

ok i'll hire a hit-man and pay him as much as i can.

my dear lord.

i think its a wonderful thing when the realest thing becomes a dream foreseen and seen into the light the brightest of white, picture perfect was it worth it? let me work it. Yeah, its about that time again where the motions seem to bend and extend a careless whisper into my ear and tell me that my everything is gonna be ok my dear. I think it was his voice, the voice of choice, and to my sudden surprise he lifts me up to twirl me around never planning on hitting the ground.

in the hardest of hardships i dip out of the scenery and try to forget all that he's done for me but not for long because thats the worst way to miss a blessed day and so for that i say i couldn't have it any other way. I hate that i only boast of your goodness when a moment of peace creeps along, but this wont last for long, just long long enough for me realize my mistake of thinking your fake.

i keep you in my pocket like keepsake, and ill never forsake you, only bless you, and for those who lack on belief i wanna be the vessel that you speak through, if only one lonely soul should happen to glance upon this entry then for him i am link to your holy throne. never am i alone.

her.

how do you convince someone of something write

when all they see its the end of the burning light?

what do you say to a girl who confesses a heavy impression of past bad learned lessons?

i say i stay and wait to one day surface victorious

but to deny my freight would be the biggest downfall so if i make this jump, make it enormous

what do you say to a girl who confesses a heavy impression of past bad learned lessons?

i feel tension unlike the usual kind this is the eagerness calling

afraid of whats over the hill, so anxious & exaborant i become because i can feel myself falling

not in love of course but in like, this too is a danger journey and so too a fearful flight

freestyle

at this moment in time, im only able to say whats on my mind, a freestyle is in line to arrange this strange pain i feel to explain whats real, when, what do i really know about the all knowing magical, mystical, creature, this perfect feature, see, here, lays a girl,

who, curls to unfurl her latest disaster, step aside and the master take over. I fall off the track to smacked back and shape up, multiple slip ups like the occasional hik up, amateur flow but only he knows that these beats and rhymes fornicate the greatest thing in my bed, like a softest, jolliest comfiest, bed, but, instead i get tossed aside forgotten like last years pride.

replay that emotion so familiar it is to me since it was last thing that rang true to me. cancel all plans, refund to all fans, then tell dan that stan is the man. yeh stan is the man. dr. suess flow, simpology is how it goes, but if ya dont know now ya know ya know.

biggie biggie biggie cant ya see, that sometimes these girls just wanna sippy sippy sippy from the glass were i slipped them a mickey mickey. the room turns topsy turvy. race car derby style the crowd goes wild and how now brown cow can you tell me that this is bound this play a foul.

my mind is as wild as this rhyme is never makes sense sorta makes sense since my senses escape me then backs up to date me, then do a 180 n tell me that they hate me. man dont try n play me lady, im not that crazy. i got 2 cents in my pocket with a packet of dust, lust, trust me when i tell ya its all lies but what lies beneath the surface is another level of nervousness.

its the hebe jebies! the straight scabby creepy crawly mother sons of guns, that have ya just jiggling cuz this life is just too much fun. too much of a good thing can leave ya with a cruck in ya neck but heck, i aint had this much funs since the berlin wall came down and jack n jill went up that hill to fall like communism with a frown.

historically, i never gave a damn since i never had a prince or princess, i best try on my sundays best to offer up the congregation of prasin and prayer is what i need at the moment along with a fat stack of that fat cash.

i disappoint to the point where i miss the point to begin with. whose he here with? never mind the nonsense just light up the incense and pay respects to the fallen senseless and since this will be my last hit i'll pass the joint because like i said i disappoint to the point where...wait. what was my point?

new

when i think about it, i mean really think about it

i tap into this sort of element that i never thought i could imagine

its kinda like one of those random things that just..happen.

like a spat out of thin air you can't explain it

and, dare i say it.. i kinda like it.

then comes along this... thing. you know what i mean?

its not just a thing, its something created like out of a dream.

you know what i mean?

like in a weird way she was meant to walk my same pathway

and so there, there in that way she came to say me gustas

cuz thats the alternative language she speaks, yay or nay? (i say yay)

she arrived in a different package something unexpected.

so naturally i felt the urge to reject it, but.. check it.

i didnt! this chic is hip, but to my surprise i feel a certain crash flip

im not sure if im even suppose to feel like this.

butterflies in my stomach, just nervous n shit, im not suppose to feel like this.

she's of a different sign, obviously a sign unlike mine, but i can say with confidence she isnt fine.

she's beautiful, from the inside her soul shines and im left to swim in her mind like fine wine.

I'm one with the lines so me ponen nerviosa she's the perfect visual aid to aid me in taking the upper hand but yet i feel one step behind because like i said she isnt fine. she's beautiful, so for me its much more than a game of chess, its a chance to boast my best, and win the chance to have her rest on my chest

vamos a tomarlo con calma. creo que sería la mejor cosa que hacer

thats gonna be hard to do, its new to me, is it new to you?

patience never was my game but ill practice it day and night to try something new.

I can't explain randomness of this connection but heres a free lesson baby don't you even mention it.

this is not a poem.

just straight from the heart. I feel as if my life is falling apart in from of me. Things are happening that, well, i wanted to happen, so i should be happy, right?

Wrong. I'm just all over the place in every aspect of my life. In fact I feel like my L.I.F.E. stands for:

Lost

In

Failing

Efforts.

I just cant seem to get a grip. And at the moment I feel as though I have ZERO control of everything. One minute I'm positive, the next, I'm depressed. I know this wont last forever but it feels like it will. My mind, body, & soul feels alone.

And honestly I cant say anyone is to blame. The people that I've surrounded myself with have done nothing wrong but either its me over reacting and being over dramatic, or it really is time for a change.

Thats why I wanted so badly to get this job and move out but once again, I'm stuck in a room I hate being in that brings me NO peace, single as usual, & up to my neck in debt.

i really need to get back to praying.

moment of truth

set the scene feel the melting pot arise to the top and boil, or spoil the plot then clap ya hands then stomp ya feet cuz this is about to be the only realest thing we see, since the beginning of time the prime beast will set his feet off the pavement and then we will be wavin in amazement and the joyous sounds of the rumbling pounds that will come from everything that is holy.

now that we got the nonsense out of the way, back to the real stuff.

**********************

im on another platform, to see the damage done would leave you with a heart worm, Like the microscopic slick snake it'll adapt to its surroundings and give your soul a pounding for, it takes hold and molds to the inner soles of the feet to pave the pavement.

thrill seeker meets the quick thinker, indulge in the scenery and engulf everything you see, for it will never be as anything you have ever seen before. Embrace this skillfully branded, yet half crafted master plan to dib dab and frame the man, but man! it was all worth the moment to see his face blow up like a gasket and i dear this mutly basket to grab it, ill put his mind in a choke hold and seal the door and tell him don't back here no more.

**********************

theres this theme that goes, joe blows what he fails to care so there goes the only soul joe blow knows. I made that up to carry with me on a sinful journey but much less this path ill take turns into a blissful syhmpony. Because i want to desperately leave this all behind, and take what i feel is mine, and since the beginning of time my heart has told me that this body is mine.

so up i go, to pack my things, i hear the sound of my heart sing as prance around my surrounding, boasting and toasting and hoping that the things i sing will soon ring true. young as my heart old as my soul i feel i must leave so i too may know how living this life really feels. i can't stay suckling at the teet of those who guide me. its time i find my own pathway. and dare i say. be FREE.

time is a wasting

don't compromise whats gold when your soul is left be sold to highest, skies the limit so give it, i said give it, bet it aint so just anotha joe blow to strolls down with a frown alone and complain about what was once his own but never fear im right to tell you to never compromise whats gold when your soul is left to be sold to the highest, i fly the fliest, and best believe that i aim to achieve the only thing that pushed me to where her ring, but ding! ding! ding! you've won again! what did i win?

another ride amongst the clouds so be proud that all it took was one hand that had me shuck.

its about that time

Once again I come to this place where my inner most thoughts are replaced with this image of her face and I cant help but brace on the idea of her seeing me perform a song about well, her.

Here and now is where it should stay, a moment without heartache disassociate your fear and live here, with me, say that you'll be everything i need. Because in a moment of honesty I just reveal that you are more beautiful than a picture perfect scenery.

But all that might come to a halt of by no fault my own if you decide to condone the terrible act of leaving me alone. I carry along the pavement in sheer amazement of the haunting memory that seems to me to be the only thing that I have left of the you and i that...use to be.

100% random

is it i who sits awake at the screen and contemplate these things i have seen with my naked eye expose those lies and to my surprise they were all remakes of the regular dyes that flooded the airwaves masked as any other lover who uncovered the mystery and junk n hell who hasn't fallen into a funk and the woes and terrible foes of those who lost their head in the clouds amidst the foul crowd, but bow down and extend n upside down frown and turn this sucker around its time to head home, home alone is what i title this poem but poetry to me is more than just a lyrical symphony and word mixed together like a beloved rivalry and blended harmonies and we's we just like to get along and sing our songs of peace and dance, prance, stay in a trance of romance.

lead this road less followed but follow me if your an individual, so sensual the sensible, incredible edible egg. laugh it up. joke for a second, breathe. bring it right back to reality cuz actually, nothing is as it should be so envision this mission as a far out galaxy.

all i know is..

in a trance i stand

and man

i think of a girl who

well i think you knew

she. had this flow

i thought you should know

it threw me for a loop

just like that she dropped me fool

in a trance i stand

and man

you gotta meet her

official mind blower

i pray to be the receiver

cuz

man

all i know is that this

this is about the all knowing

all showing

in a trance i stand

and man

oh man.

i came..

now that im done i sit alone and ponder my thoughts. sucked into the pattern of such misery its hard to follow the pitter patter flow a blissful scenery. I scatter along in hopes to find my way, to say farewell to those dark demons and pack them away tightly.

all over the place with these thoughts of mine they seem to resurface at the randomness of times. mostly when im alone which seems be the usual so forgive my repetitiveness im a bit unusual. I fool you all with my sense of knowledge but little do thee know i fail short of the thrown and fall down all on my own.

i came once before but was left in a pool of nothing nice. it's what they like to call love. trickery is its best dish i take a slip and dive head first, cracked my head and bleed out my soul for anyone to take, dishes shatter from impact she said its just too much to take.

so she ran out the door never to look back or ask for more. poor poor she failed to know she was tethered to the floor left to bleed once more. how silly the foul to think she could leave this man doesn't she know how much this world is cruel?

he's here to save you! stay and never leave! you unpack your trust and dish it out throw it to the wolves, no one cares to keep it, since the values a bust. a girl calls her name from the window pane she scampers little dampers of light capture her heart. "we need to leave.." it was the light waves so frightening that kept her up at night. she heard "we need to leave.." and swore to take the next flight.

unshackle the chains and unleash the pain, she said "we need to leave.." so she knew it was the only way.

one shot in the dark, she dare not miss..

she knew never more would it be his kiss she'd miss..

one shot in the dark, she dare not miss..

she knew never more would she live like this..

one shot in the dark, she dare not miss..

all it took.

one shot.

i need it!

i fight myself from the tears i mask the pain so no one hears, this weeping lady falling to her knees, i pray for a new thats all i need. I can't take this life, this hand i've been dealt, give me a new hand, im not for these feeling being felt. Nothing makes sense, nothing feels right, so i think its best i just take flight. i make this simple not too complex, this point needs to be made, it's time to lay this past to rest.

im done with you, im done with you all!

i've received nothing from this time wasted, nothing at all!

keep it locked

i try not to leech on what could possibly be with something that seems to be drawn to me, but my nature has forced this kind of uncertainty to become my destiny so i fall weak on knees and pray for mercy.

be strong for the broken and one day i too will be chosen but times a tickin and im just so afraid its just sickenin, but then again, whats fair in this world consumed with sin. i pray for love, i pray for life as corny as this next line i pray for my wife.

is it too much to boast of the dreams ive had?

is it too much to scream out loud because im mad?

is it too much to hold in for fear of making her sad?

is it too much? good. im glad.

*************************************************

depression of all depressions sink in like an unwanted lesson. i take hold of the head board and pull up for air, hope to see her soon such a teaser like the scent of her hair. It blew in the wind to signify the end. I'm all tapped out, i'm at the end of my rope so to kiss your cheek again i see hope.

a sparkle of light, a flicker of love, i saw you the other day but yet it's just not the same. A lover lost is the worst of all, so dare i fall, into the souls of you all, to spread my desires and think of me when you seek out what it is that makes you go higher because I..I couldn't take it anymore.

im stronger no more, no more than the average man whose taken his last breath.

dime peice

seen a frame the other day not same mundain, nah, she was the ilest, realist eva thang i had eva sean.

she, had a walk that was made for a train, to follow her, wallow in her glory, looked like a queen straight outta 10 page centerfold story.

i approached wit caution cuz i knew she had heard it all, tryn not to fall under her spell, but still i fell.

my , my, my name is cuh, cuh, catrina, and uh its nice to meetcha. thats the best i had but still so glad that she glanced at my eyes with them thick ol thighs and to my surprise she conjured up her name.

she..conjured up her name.

and then, be fore i knew it, we sat down to kick it, spiting mad game she was the one to blame, for my lame attempts to be hip, but she caught on to the scheme, and added into a theme intitled "you & me".

somethings new

im sitting among a sea of familiar faces, connected through old and new relations, conversations of empty revelation and one thing i keep contemplatin is what has me feeling so impatient to just walk up and gather my thoughts and things because this.just.isnt.my.scene. and do ya know what i mean?

i just cant submerge myself under mindless configurations, so i think its about time i make my escape and break. away from this crowd, the lack of luster seems to be growing to loud for my liking, n sometimes great minds don't think a like so i'll do us a favor and save the heartache for later.

held back from this stress? yes

better than the rest? no

am i better than the rest? maybe

you a bit to ahead of yourself. so?

i keep repeating to myself i deserve better, in every sense of the word, but to my dismay those phrases are never heard, to the listening ear my thoughts go deaf, left to collect dust, like a doll on the shelf, so cleshay that line, so behave that behind, this girl is out of line, got me goin out.of.my.mind

a desire to move away, so far away has long been my craving, but failed attempts at scrimping and saving, leaves me with a painstaking, heart breaking, realization that maybe this isnt the way to leave today.

i deserve the best damnit! im not asking for a sundae with cherries on top! just a few scoops of freakin ice cream!. the lack of respect i receive from my fellow peers makes me scream! I feel unnoticed like a fly on the wall, unfazed as people pass through. Is my presence felt? or merely forgotten, never to be dealt.with.

lethargic

pause it

im melting away from this dull moment.