personal

i sit at this table too frozen to move, one simple touch couldn't have come at a moment too soon. I'm aboard a ship thats overflowing with emotions so dense it could sink. Realizing my future potential has me at stance. So i think. Who am i in this world? who dares to care of the effect i have? i'm just some random girl. With connections so intertwined i suffocate from confusion, people past with a smile painted on you extend a faulty illusion. I've concluded that the best way to let me live is to keep your hurtful words muted. I hang on to every single word you say as if to offer guidance like the selfless bird, that flies above my head grazing the earth and bypassing the skies in all its worth. And to see you smile is worth the trip that took a year and one day and one day i'll see you and i pray not a minute too soon that you'll be mine and then, only then will everything be fine. Because no matter the stress causers the world may throw my way i know that once i graze upon you face everything will be ok.

{i need to make a confession. There is a girl, a unique special girl. A girl who "loves" me. I lack the solid proof to know what kind of love this is. But what i know for certain is that she..."loves" me. And to me, that should be all i need. In my greed I'm blind to this kind of love. It's the kind that few seem to find. They call it unconditional. Subliminal messages are tacked into every crevice of the time we've spent and I know she's found herself left to vent because she "loves" me. I circle the globe to find my love, questioning if she found hers. It kills me to know that it might be me. I search high and low and ignore her face staring into my soul. I toy with her emotions only for my sick advantage. Take her off the shelf like a doll and blow care to wind if i fail to catch her fall. I may not be her true love, but when someone "loves" me. what else should I see? Is there hope for me? maybe}